Keeping a Straight Face

An MFRW Author Post  

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I’m a person who loves humor – it doesn’t take much to send me into a fit of laughter, and I tend to crack rude and inappropriate jokes anywhere and anytime. I love making people smile and I come from a family of wise guys and smart alecs, so I’m in good company.

But, witty remarks at the dinner tables and goofing off with my boyfriend aside, there’s one thing that will make me laugh without fail, every single time.

Sexy audiobooks.

Don’t get me wrong, I love audiobooks. I’m an audiobook nut. I probably listened to 25 or 30 last year and I’ve a mind to beat that. But despite being my favorite genre, or maybe because of it, they tend to put in me into a sticky spot sometimes. (Please direct your mind out of the gutter…)

hipster-869222_1920The thing is, I’ve grown quite adept at keeping a straight face when I listen to the sexy bits on my way to work or back from town. But every once in awhile I’ll be taken off guard, and I have to do my damnedest not to laugh directly in the face of whatever unwitting human is walking in the opposite direction of me.

Some of the ones that have definitely thrown me are things like surprise ten-inch penises, (um, thanks, but no thanks,) the words splooge and honeypot, and one time when an adopted dog named Jupiter happened upon a post-coital Christmas morning scene, and then his hip gave out and he fell over.

But while I could list a dozen scenarios that almost had me laughing out loud in public like a crazy person, there is one that will stay with me far above all the rest.

I think about two years ago, I downloaded an audiobook on the fly. I was running late for work and hadn’t bothered to check out the description, just saw that it was contemporary Special Forces and hit the road. It turned out to be the start of a lifelong love for Maya Banks, (I am currently reading her entire KGI series), book one of The Falcon Mercenary Group.

I really should have read the description.

As I learned much later into my Maya Banks education, she sometimes throws in paranormal things without a whole lot of explanation. There are a surprising numbers of sexy, grown men who mysteriously turn into wild jungle cats, among other things. Like this book. 

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See, it starts out like a regular contemporary story. The heroine is obviously after the hero, so she finds him at a club and seduces him before he brings her home. They have sex in the first, like, fifteen minutes and fall asleep. Then the hero wakes up from their post coital snuggling and turns into mist.

Say what now?

When I first heard it, I grappled with whether or not I was supposed to decipher some deep metaphor. But nope, the hero literally transforms into mist, which made me pause in my walk and blink a lot before bursting into unstoppable laughter. Like, what the fuck, right? Only I love Maya Banks and I stopped asking questions about her vaguely paranormal stories a long time ago.

I’d say that listening to these books and being caught off guard is embarrassing, but it’s not. At the core, romance is a really fun genre, and if it makes me laugh, it just means it’s doing its job. It is silly? You know it! Do I want a ten inch cock anywhere near me – no thanks, not even a little. But these escapist, fun elements are part of the reason we love it. And if the people who see us burst out laughing on the sidewalk think we’re a little weird, well, fuck it – they don’t know what they’re missing. ♦

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8 Comments

  1. Turning into mist–that’s one way of sneaking out of bed the morning after, LOL! I always worry about readers having your reaction to my love scenes, Gemma, but I guess, like you say, this is a fun genre, so what the heck!

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    1. I’m hoping so! (Especially since Maya forever holds my heart!) The mist definitely caught me by surprise, though! Would you want someone to be amused by those scenes in your books? I think I would.

      Like

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